Monday, February 22, 2010

now everyday is a someday come true...




23 hours after 5 am Sunday morning...i met my daughter for the first time.

her name...miss adelaide jane

her weight...9 lbs. 2.4 oz.

her length...22 inches

her arrival...4:04 am

but that cannot explain miss addie jane. if you want, you can read below...otherwise, just admire the beauty that is my little girl. i can't believe i get to have her call me mommy.

at 5am sunday morning i woke up in bed thinking something didn't feel right, i thought i was just uncomfortable so i went to sleep on the couch, only the same feeling happened twice more. i woke up greg - who immediately jumped up, got dressed, got his iphone and turned his lap making app on and...well, waited.

i took a long shower and drank like a gallon of water...but the weird feelings kept returning. so, i called my mom, and my midwife. we were timing them and thought they were 20 min. apart, so my midwife said - go out, walk around a mall, a grocery store - anything. so -even though greg was embarrassed at the thought of me stopping mid-walk to groan loudly through a contraction, he took me to meijer and to sam's.

i had a contraction in the dvd section of meijer. it was bad.

then we got some food, and i laid on the couch for awhile. it was about 4:00 before i said, IT IS TIME TO GO.

i had two more contractions before we made it to good sam's triage/admission desk. and when they checked me - the nurse laughed, saying i had dilated to 4 and was almost completely effaced...and of course the awesome - "did you know you were 1-3 minutes apart?"

so, moral of the story. i don't have a clue when contractions begin and end, because for a few hours mine were right on top of each other so much so that i thought 4 or 5 of them were one big one.

i was admitted obviously, and checked a few hours later only to find out that i was 6 cm. by 6 or 7 pm - it was time for my epidural. a moment that i both feared and anticipated for months. and i was right to fear it. i can't explain what happened...it was mostly of blur of misery and absolute panic. the "bee sting" theory is bull$#!!...and the warm relief that follows is bull$#!! too. the dude had to stick my three different times, all i could yell was "LEFT SIDE" "LEFT SIDE" because literally - my left side was on fire and my right side felt NOTHING. i knew it wasn't right.

so, moral of the story. it takes longer than the 3 minutes promised and its not a bee sting. epidurals suck...and mine took the cake.

a few hours later - i had made it to 8 cm. and shortly after that i was a full 10 cm. but was at -2 station. meaning she was all up in my ribcage and not where she should be. so they pushed pitocin into my IV to move things along. By 2:30 am I was absolutely exhausted and REALLY NEEDING TO PUSH. only the nurse wouldn't let me...until greg took her gently outside and must have said something - and then, she let me.

oh yeah, did i mention i had to be redosed four times, and then when i couldn't stand the pain and had to push ( and because they would wear off way too fast) i got a "PUSHING DOSE". which by the way, is a cop-out for "we don't know what else to do except re-stick you".

now, i had been told that with an epidural all you feel is pressure. and that someone has to tell you when you are having a contraction so you know when to push. i knew without any help, and i told the nurses when i was going to push because i felt every last inch of pain + pressure and i knew the only relief was to push.

so i pushed for an hour or so, 4 at a time, screaming, being dramatic, and telling the nurse "STOP TELLING ME TO RELAX...YOU RELAX...I CANT..." and a few choice f-bombs later and wham, there she was, shiny, perfect, and mine.

4:04 am. everything changed. i am in love.

i will write more later.

i have to go squeeze her.