In my 16th week and wondering...

what will my baby look like?
i am thinking there are only two versions if its a boy. the dark version or the light version...what do you think my chances are?

too pooped to pop...

so you know how i have been saying that i feel bigger than i should be...well, i woke up two days ago and WHAM...my belly is OUT THERE.

which, since we all know i am freak with my fears...i asked my doctor if my belly was normal for four months. she said, "honey, nothing is really normal with pregnancy".

therefore, my fear remains.

and its not like i ever had full view of my feet when i looked down because of the chest god threw on me, i still could see toenails...and those are gone. very very very disconcerting.

HAPPY, GLOWY, baby stuff you ask?

1. the irish sweater that my mother in law gave the baby is 100% adorable.

2. the scottish onesie-zip-up sack for wintery weather that my mom gave the baby is 100% adorable.

3. the yuppie connecticut (martha stewart) yellow rug for the baby room is 100% adorable.

4. the heartbeat that i heard again today at my appointment measuring in the high 140's is 100% adorable...

5. the ultrasound appointment to find out the sex of our baby in four weeks is 100% scheduled!

im just cloning perfection

so my tummy is definitely visible and i started back to school this Wednesday.

the kids were really not sure if they should say anything, but i saw their "wow-mrs.lynch-has-a-larger-belly" faces and spoke quickly before they could say anything they might regret.

i told a few of my classes that i wasn't pregnant..i was just cloning perfection. like three kids laughed. which means only three kids got it. silly sheltered catholic kids.

they were very excited however. and laughed when i explained that they were going to have to figure out how to keep their bookbags under their chairs because soon i won't be able to see what's beneath my belly and i can't afford to trip. i have tripped twice, so much for their concern.

they are sweet about it though, wanting to know the sex, the name, when i am leaving, who will be their sub. you know - the important stuff. and to answer them i simply say "get your books out and zip your mouths"

i think this year i am little more relaxed. maybe that has to do with having to take it easy, maybe that has to do with having two grades in the building know me and trust my teaching style. maybe its that i know i can do my job and have fun at the same time.

maybe its because one of my boys is totally entertaining, and performed "its raining men" for me this afternoon while waiting for the car-riders to be called. hand-gestures were included (disco style)
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so i am here 14 weeks and a day. i read that my baby can squint, frown, pee, and suck its thumb. not sure how proud i am of any of those...but i guess a milestone is a milestone any way that it comes.

the baby is technically as big as a lemon. but my belly seems to show that its more the size of an orange. so whichever way you look at it...my baby is a still fruit-sized and making its own urine.

yum. orange juice anyone?

someday i will have the guts to take some pictures of my belly and post them. for now...that feels odd. maybe its the fat girl in me that never thought it appropriate to show off anything large if i didn't have to...so you will have to wait and see.

drs. appointment next week...crazy to think i will be 15 weeks by then. when you count in weeks...this whole thing goes very fast.

spoke too soon...

so the other day i was talking to a bunch of people about how great it is that i haven't gotten sick yet...you know, due to this whole life dwelling inside me.

i gave like three high-fives out on how awesome my body is being to me.

then that night, my body refused to stay cool. it rejected spaghetti like it has never rejected it before.

i swear to you all, i have only been that sick twice since i was a baby.
1. too much pizza in high school when i binged to get over a break-up
2. my 21st and the 10 shots lined up on the bar that i only remember 4 of...

and now,
3. spaghetti.

i have learned that i will take the rest of this pregnancy one day at a time...and not say again what hasn't happened because there will always be a YET that follows that statement.

my empathy and complete sympathy goes out to those women who get sick everyday through pregnancy. awful awful awful...awful.

sorry if this made any of you sick...but then you may have greater empathy for me if you did.

welcome to this century...

i joined facebook...only when i was told for certain that i could "ignore" any chance for my students to find me on-line.

and it feels great to catch up with people i haven't heard from in forever...people who didn't even know i was married, much less popping out of my normal clothes with child. its reminding me in a very sentimental way that i know a lot of wonderful people out there.

that feels like a nice big hug.

not that i need one...i.e. the following signs of glowing happiness:

1. my mom gave me the most perfect diaper bag. if you know me at all you know i love purses, bags, anything big and loud. its huge, its yellow, its patent leather. watch out baby-yo'mama looks fabulous.

2. greg and i went to don pablos to celebrate "no more meds" week. the queso was worth the pain that followed it. so was the hot apple pie on a skillet.

3. while it was also sad...it was a cool realization. i had a normal shirt on yesterday, and while shopping i passed a mirror and realized my shirt no longer fit and the maternity tank i was wearing under it had saved me and others from viewing more than was necessary. maternity tops - here i come.

4. donuts...i saw some yesterday. i didn't eat them. they just make me happy.

5. favorite gift so far - my grandmothers monogrammed silver brush, comb, and mirror set. it was a wedding gift for her almost 65 years ago. when she passed away it was the only thing i really wanted of hers...i can't wait to give it to my daughter when she gets married. just looking at it makes me think of her. and that always makes me happy. always.

looks like we made it...

twelve weeks. 7 weeks ago dr. chin said that if we made it to 12 that the majority of my risk factors would just disappear. the baby would have everything it needs then-and it would just bake from then on. no more drugs, just vitamins.

we are here. all 3 of us made it, a little stronger than we started. i have to say out loud that i am actually proud of my husband and my self. some big tears, and some scary moments have passed.
but some sweet moments, and happy talks have also come.

the heartbeat is strong. didn't get to hear it today at the ultrasound which really both 1. pissed me off and 2. made me sad. last week my mom and i got to hear the heartbeat. this week with greg, greg's mom, my mom and i were present to watch the little person jump around and to let them hear the beat...but the technician kept saying "i personally don't use that type of machine this early on"
(meanwhile i am thinking, i just told you i had it done last week, so what you are saying is that the technician i had last week was taking major risks with my baby...come'on lady...think.idiot.)

i am still really struggling with the whole good sam thing, and this did not help in any way whatsoever.

so the nasty technician better not be there for my week 20. or the momzilla in me may just have to be released.

the photo shoot went well i guess....clockwise: found a heartrate 151. saw a raised hand. and the third picture...well, i can't figure out the profile-see if you can? and finally, saw what seems to be a sweet pic of the baby's face.

my mom thinks it looks like a girl. but really, even if its a boy it will look as good in pink as his dad does, so i am not worried at all. i guess in 8 weeks we'll know for sure.