and trying to stay positive.
thanks for all your prayers and positive thoughts. greg and pj and i are very lucky to have such great people in our lives.
last night we used our heartbeat monitor for the first time. it took me a few minutes, but then in a very calm and happy moment, we found pj's heartbeat. its distinctly faster than my own so i can tell the difference.
it was the first time greg had heard her.
it was really special.
and today marked twenty weeks for us. twenty weeks...i remember when 12 seemed really far off and it was all i wanted to get to because that was somehow the week that meant everything was safe. But now it feels like i am waiting for week 32 desperately to be assured that everything is safe. i am beginning to think there aren't any more SAFE weeks in my life. just one worry after another, hopefully mixed with a lot of funny moments.
but i thought today, why wish the weeks to go so fast. she is coming no matter what results come on Monday, or come on her birthday.
so thank you for your positive thoughts - they have crept into my head somehow, and i found myself laughing with my students today for the first time not thinking about how scared i am for pj.
it felt good.
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