just the start of stressin'out

before i say anything, know that the baby is fine. but geez, if this is truly any indication for how stressed i am going to be as a mom we are in for it.

on friday night i had my first scare. i spotted. which if you are a guy, then don't ask. if you are a girl, you know how this never means anything good. especially when you are pregnant.

of course, melodramatic mama that i am, i flipped out. called my sister at 11:30 at night, didn't sleep but two hours, called my amazing doctor in the a.m. and he calmly told me to come in for an ultrasound.

there was nothing calm about my getting there. pouring rain, slightly elevated speeds, and wham i made it to fairfield in 15 minutes (usually takes 30).

then of course i waited. that is the worst. i don't care how soothing the cool pink walls are, or how nice and funny the nurses are...or how many cute babies were in the waiting room. waiting is the worst.

i didn't call my husband because of all saturdays, he had inventory at the hospital, his busiest day of the year.

so i went it alone.

and in the 15 minutes that i sat in that exam room (half-undressed and slightly chilled) i just prayed. i usually don't do that. but it seemed like a pretty good time. and i guess it worked.

because my incredible doctor came in, immediately fired up the baby photo shoot, and there it was, the heart beat. and my baby had grown 3 MM to a whopping 10. i am so proud.

Dr. Chin is so smart that he knew how out of my mind i was, he told me in short and sweet directions what i was supposed to do. which was NOTHING. so nothing wins. i am caught up on all things recorded. i have downed almost an entire case of aquafina. seriously, i haven't even showered in two days. gross yes, but if you had been there friday night, you would know how willing i was to do anything to keep this baby healthy.

i think the nurses may let me back between now and my next appt. for another ultrasound. i can't get enough of my millimeter-sized cutie.


the caca diagnosis has been resolved in case you were wondering.

things that remind me that i am still very pregnant: still with the nipples-good god(thanks for the octagon tip bren), the quick tears(yesterday i cried five times), the exhaustion(doing nothing caused this though)
cravings this week (most of what i cannot have) : crunchwrap supremes, tomato-basil soup, oreos w milk, cheetos or anything flavored with artificial cheese.
god i am hungry.