my heart's all a'flutter

so i am six weeks (yesterday) and today we went in for another ultrasound. this was a big one. not an immobile blob. but instead a peanut. with a heartbeat. that i could see clear as day. it was the most precious thing.

the doctor called it fluttering. i just took a deep breath in and sighed. my baby is fluttering. their heart works. and all day long since i just keep thinking (however cheesy it is) that the one thing that matters most is starting to get stronger. the heart.

and of course, in my hormonal spin of joy, i thought about how as a mama, i will want to protect that heart for the rest of my child's life...

how my heart will break a million times before their first birthday...

how someone someday is going to try and break that heart, and how i will want to break their face for having done so...

how someday they will find the perfect person, and risk giving their heart away...

and then i realized how nuts i was being and apologized to my future child for how strange i will be as a mom.

but today is a special day. a really spectacular day.

greg had no jokes, he was just as happy to see the flutter.
we see the flutter again in two weeks at my eight week appointment.

symptoms of my happiness: nausea when driving or being driven, the inability to sleep, my nipples still hate me, and yes, as my doctor put it today ever so gently, "meg, you're full of caca". So when you see me on the street, please don't ask if i am due this fall, it is a simple case of the "back-ups" and my stomach looks like one of those kids you donate money to save in far off places. and it hurts, so don't make me laugh by pointing.